Wasps in the Bushes, Crickets at the Dealer

We got home after dropping the Weeblemobile off at the dealer, and the driveway looked strangely empty.

A 25-foot motorhome takes up a fair amount of room, so when it is suddenly gone, you notice.

There are several large boxwoods between our driveway and the neighbor’s property. That is where the Weeblemobile normally sits between trips, taking up space, blocking the view, and generally making the driveway look complete.

Without it there, the driveway looked like it was missing a tooth.

Still, we had reached the “What can you do?” stage of the repair process.

Later that day, Mrs. Weeble and I headed out to get some dinner. We were in her car, but I was driving.

When we got home, I pulled into the spot where the Weeblemobile normally sits. Mrs. Weeble got out and headed toward the back door.

I opened the driver’s door and noticed a few wasps flying around.

At first, I didn’t think much about it.

Then I saw why they were flying around.

There was a large wasp nest sitting in the boxwoods.

And when I say large, I do not mean a cute little starter nest.

I mean a fully developed wasp condominium complex.

My first thought was, “How did that thing get so big without me seeing it and taking care of it when it was smaller?”

Then I realized why.

When we get into or out of the Weeblemobile, we normally use the side door. Since the RV sits right beside the boxwoods, we climb in through the side and walk forward to wherever we need to go. The driver’s seat and passenger seat are both easy to reach from inside.

If I do walk around to the driver’s door, I normally go around the front of the RV.

The nest was about halfway down the side of the Weeblemobile, right where I pull out the Blackstone grill from the outside storage compartment.

Somehow, I had pulled the grill out without ever having a disagreement with the residents.

Looking back, I am beginning to think they had been watching me for weeks.

At this point, I know exactly what everyone is thinking.

“Why didn’t he just back the car up and get out somewhere farther away?”

I asked myself that very same question.

Unfortunately, I asked it several minutes too late.

As everyone knows, 20/20 hindsight is a wonderful thing. It usually arrives right after it would have been useful.

So there I sat in the car, staring at the wasp nest and trying to decide how to get out without making them unhappy.

I really don’t like unhappy wasps.

Unhappy wasps tend to do things that make everyone else unhappy.

I slowly opened the car door and carefully stepped out. I quietly explained to the wasps that I was perfectly willing to leave them alone if they were willing to leave me alone.

It seemed like a fair deal.

Apparently, they were not interested in negotiations.

As I slowly moved down the side of the car, a couple of them started flying toward me.

I picked up my pace slightly.

They continued coming.

Apparently, my live-and-let-live policy had been rejected by the homeowners’ association.

Then one of them stung me on the wrist.

That ended the negotiations.

I immediately picked up speed and headed for the house.

At that moment, I decided that if they were not willing to follow the live-and-let-live motto, then neither was Captain Weeble.

Unfortunately, I did not have any wasp spray at home.

So, off to Home Depot I went.

I stood in the insect-control aisle and read every can on the shelf.

I wanted the deadliest spray I could find.

Yes, I was taking this personally.

I also wanted the spray that would shoot the farthest. I did not want any of them making a final act of defiance while I was carrying out the mission.

I found one that claimed it could shoot up to 25 feet.

That sounded about right.

Twenty-five feet of spray and another ten feet of running room seemed like a reasonable plan.

I waited until after dark and turned off the outside light. I put on my red headlamp so I could see the nest without lighting up the whole neighborhood.

Then I took up my old police stance behind Mrs. Weeble’s car, aimed carefully, and opened fire.

I sprayed directly into the entrance and soaked the entire nest.

Then I made a tactical retreat back into the house.

Some people might call it running.

I prefer tactical retreat.

About three hours later, just before going to bed, I went back outside to check.

I didn’t see anything moving.

I didn’t hear anything buzzing.

Feeling a little braver, I moved closer and sprayed into the entrance again. Then I soaked the entire nest one more time.

I went to bed thinking, “Sting me, will you?”

The next morning, before leaving for work, I gave the nest one final spraying.

At that point, I was no longer taking chances.

Mission accomplished.

At least I hoped so.

Cue the Twilight Zone music.

It had now been two weeks since we dropped the Weeblemobile off at the dealer for its recall work.

We had heard nothing.

No call.

No update.

Nothing but crickets.

Apparently, the dealership and the wasps used the same communication system.

We were now only two weeks away from our next camping trip to Little Beaver State Park in West Virginia, so I decided it was time to call and see whether the recall part had arrived.

I called around 10:30 in the morning and asked for the service department.

The woman who answered told me she had just sent another call back to service. She took my name and number and said someone would call me.

The Twilight Zone music started playing loudly in my head.

It was playing so loudly that I decided to watch an actual episode of The Twilight Zone.

I went to the computer and selected a random one.

The story was about a man stranded on an asteroid with a female robot.

That seemed a little too close to home, although I was not sure whether I was supposed to be the man, the robot, or the asteroid.

I waited all morning.

No call.

Around 3:00 that afternoon, I called the dealer again.

I figured that if they were not going to call me, I had better call them if I ever wanted the music in my head to stop.

This time, I managed to reach the service department.

I identified myself and asked whether the recall part had arrived.

It had not.

I asked if they had any idea when it might come in, since we had a camping trip planned in two weeks.

They said they had no idea. In fact, they were still waiting on recall parts for three other RVs.

That made me feel slightly better.

At least we were not being ignored alone.

I asked whether I could pick up the Weeblemobile, use it for our trip, and bring it back once the part arrived.

They said that would be fine and asked when I wanted to come get it.

I asked whether Saturday would work.

I already knew they had strict drop-off and pick-up times, and sure enough, they did not allow Saturday pickups.

Apparently, retrieving your own RV requires an appointment with the precision of a space launch.

Okay.

What can you do?

I asked how Tuesday worked for them.

Tuesday would be fine.

Then they asked what time I wanted to come.

I am still not entirely sure why they are so strict about the times, but I have learned that it is easier to go along with the system than to try to understand it.

I asked whether 11:00 would be okay.

They said it would.

I also told them I wanted to make sure the shore power worked before I left. I wanted them to show me that it was working so I could be certain I had not dreamed up the entire electrical problem.

They agreed.

The woman also reminded me to turn off the air conditioner before connecting or disconnecting shore power, or before starting or stopping the generator.

I told her I would not make that mistake again.

As I explained to her, this is a new RV, and I seem to learn something every time we take it out.

Some lessons are inexpensive.

Some lessons involve a repair shop.

So, we will be getting the Weeblemobile back on Tuesday.

The music in my head is beginning to fade.

I am also considering contacting a Mercedes dealer about the recall. Since it involves a wiring harness, there is at least a chance they may be able to complete the repair faster than the RV dealer.

That is, assuming the repair really needs to be done.

So, for now, the wasps are gone, the Weeblemobile is coming home, and the recall part is still somewhere out there in the unknown.

The story continues.

The adventure does not stop here. Be sure to check back next week to see what happens next.